Get well soon Mummy.. :(

Blank... That’s about how I can describe the state of my mind is at this moment. Seriously, it took me some time to even think of how to start my sentence. Typed some stuffs then delete them, type some stuffs again, then delete them again. How nice...

Think the super cool and wet weather is to blame for this. It started drizzling on and off since yesterday evening and it didn’t stop till now. I reckon that these on and off rains are good during this period of the year, cos they really lowers the warm and dry temperature in Beijing. But I certainly hope that it stays this way till tomorrow morning at least. So I can sleep well tonight. Hur hur...

There were a few moments today where I find myself dozing off subconsciously in my office and I had to struggle so hard just to stay awake the entire day. The 3 in 1 coffee didn’t help much even thou I took 2 at one shot. 15 minutes later and I’m sleepy again. This sucks.

So for the next 1 hour, I've self declared it “skiving hour”.

Fark... Fark... Fark... Why now... Damn... Just got off the phone with sis... Mom's hospitalized for mild stroke... I called mom a few days back while she was attending her church camp in JB and she sounded sick, but I thought it was nothing serious. So I asked her to call me back when she's back in Singapore. Now this news... Mommy is hospitalized in Mount Elizabeth... Thank God she was with her church mates and they sense something wrong with her, so they ask sis to fetch her back from JB.

Dear all please pray for my mother to recover soon. That all I ask...

Thank you.

I don't deserve your love..

I choose to maintain my silence. I am keeping all my heartaches in my heart and to myself. I've got so many things which I would want to share with you but I choose to keep it to myself. I am a selfish person, I don't open up, keeps quiet when things happens and I am a unworthy boyfriend. I am someone who don't deserved any of your uncondition love. I really do know that you've given so much to this relationship and yet I chose to give it up.

I am sorry. I know no matter how many sorries I say to you won't help ease the pain but I still want to say that I am sorry that I've let you down once again. Two years of love is not as easy to give up as you though it would be for me. The four words was the hardest words which I have ever made myself say in my entire life and it hurts me deep just even attempting to say it.

You've suffered enough of my sucky attitude towards this relationship and I don't want to hurt you further yet in the process, I hurt you even more. I want you to know that although I choose to give up our relationship but that doesn't mean that I don't love you. I love you and I don't want to hurt you the third time. There shouldn't be a second time at all but it just did happen. I don't want you to cry for me again cos I don't think I am worth your tears. I want you to smile when you think of the happy things we have done together.

It maybe unfair to you that I am in a new environment and it maybe easier for me to cope but no.. It's even harder cos I've got no one I can turn to to share my sorrows with and no where to find my memories with you. I have to put up a brave front infront of people when I am with them but inside of me is in pain.

I don't expect you to understand or know why I am doing this cos I myself don't understand or even know what I am doing. Everything is in a mess right now, my life, my purpose here and now my relationship. So for now, I want my Baobei to have a better life than when you are with me, to have someone who deserves you alot more than I do, someone who won't hurt you as much as I did, someone who will give you happiness in everything which I didn't provide.. I want you to be happy.. You never know, maybe as time passes and after one big round/circle, we may be together again if God wants us to.

I am stoping here now but there is still so many things I want to say but I doubt I will be able to express them at all.. I sincerly hope that we could still be friends even thou we are not together anymore. I still want to meet up when I am back in November, see you in Hong Kong in August and Beijing in October. Can?

I love you. Please be happier then me. Also, you don't owe me anything.. It is me who owe you so much more.

With Love
Baobei...

Shouldn't have but here I am..

I hesitated alot before posting this.. I don't know.. I just want to..

No decent sleep for me for the pass few nights.. Even tonight I think..

Has been eating on time and snacking alot.. Tummy is growing..

Been trying to keep myself busy even when I am not..

Weather today was very warm before lunch but the afternoon was better with light winds now and then.

Miserable

Sad.. Beyond what you think I would be.. But I would still want you to know I never stop missing and loving you.. I may not show it at all but I really do..

I know saying anything won't help. But I am sorry for all the heartachz I've brought you. I don't deserve the love you've given me.

Period??

Hai... I have no idea why I cannot access my blog again... I can access blogger but not my blog.. This sucks... Is it a once a month thingy.. Knn.. Why like that?

Friday night, is the night...

Huuurrraaayyy… It’s Friday again...!! The last working day for the long and slow week is here finally. Hopefully I can get some long needed rest this weekend and get right back to work fresh and all ready to take on the challengers. Plans for Saturday, meeting Mae in the afternoon to visit Zhong Guan Chun to hunt for my Canon 400D while she hunts for her Fuji Digital Camera… Hey, she’s a great fan of the brand Fuji okay… Dun play play… Not Kodak, not Olympus, definitely not Canon… But Fuji ah!!! Fuuwahhhh!!! And No… I am not mocking her right now… Plans for Sunday, Slack? Church? Slack…

Well, was “Google-ing” for Universities recently for my MBA and found BiMBA, it’s an educational venture between Peking University and US’s Fordham University. I think it’s one of the only few institutes in Beijing which are providing MBA courses in English. I really cannot imagine myself taking up a Chinese MBA when my Chinese is only 1/4 bucket of water loh.. Not even half bucket can.. (半桶水)!!! Anyway, went for the “one on one conversation” recruitment talk for BiMBA at Kerry Hotel yesterday evening. BiMBA apparently is one of the top education venture institutes in the world and it gave me great doubts on whether I should or am I qualified to enroll for the MBA course. I pretty much know myself how good I am in studies and how recognized my degree is. Maybe I shouldn’t embarrass myself by submitting my resume and portfolio for the course and interview.. The interviewers would probably be laughing at me in their minds and probably out loud even before they see me or when they go through my resume and degree transcript. I can imagine myself looking at their faces and sees them trying hard not to giggle at me during the the interview… Shit.. To hell with that..

After hearing that I went searching for MBA courses yesterday, first thing in the morning when he enters the office, my boss wants me to look up some economic course which he took up previously in another University. He said it would help in my work for the company.. But I am not staying in the companyfor long. If some of you have been to the Northern parts of China, you would have notice that actually the Chinese do smell a little too. But confirm not as pungent as you know... Well, the reason of the smell I would say is related to the cold and low humidity weather up north. It would be a great deal of pain even to remove your cloths to shower during the winter. So they have this habit of not showering for days and for some, weeks as they don’t perspire at all.. Another thingy to explain the smell is the food they eat. Northern Chinese loves eating raw garlic during their meals. It certainly helps to kill some germs inside them and some on the food they are about to eat, but it leaves behind a horrible smell lingering in their breath..

Back to boss this morning, as he was standing behind me while I was scrolling through the University’s webby, a strange “smell” slowly creeps up from behind like a ghost pounding at me and engulfing me entirely. At first I thought I could endure it as it wasn’t the first time I smell it. Then, without warning, boss leans forward towards the computer screen and his head was inches away from mine.. Then he started talking to me... Fark... The smell I tell you.. It’s beyond words can describe... I seriously want to just stand up and let him take the seat but he leaned his arm on my shoulder and continues talking to me.. If I haven’t held my breath then, I think I would have fainted immediately.. He kept talking to me for about 2 minutes or so instructing me to find this and that regarding the course. These few minutes were the longest minutes of my entire life... Even after he left, I could still smell the “stench” lingering around for quite some time.. Yucks..

On a brighter side, something kind of exciting happened yesterday afternoon when I was applying for my Residential Permit at the Beijing Municipal Public Security Bureau. To explain a little, it’s where locals and “aliens” apply for their entry and exit permits.. Nice name but as usual, service was crap. But what made it cool was someone was there.. Christy Chung.. Yup! She was there applying for her permit as well I guess. But she got her assistants to do all the running for her and she just stood there. Some procedures here need you to be there personally to show face before they process it.. Well.. She wasn’t as gorgeous as what I’ve imagine her to be in the movies and photos blah blah blah.. She was tan, quite tan actually and doesn’t look tall.. But her long hair, thick lips, very nice nose.. After staring for a while, realised that she's got the “charm” like most of the actors and actresses. A “charm” which makes you attracted to them every time you see them. Then again.. Still not very gorgeous.. Contadicting huh... No worries.. I am just trying to confuse you.

Ok, better go find dinner le..

Take care all.. Enjoy your weekends..

Honey Dew, Apples.. Wat's next...

2nd time le... Kind of kanna con by fruits seller.. 密瓜甜吗? 甜..一定甜.. knn.. Totally tastless lor.. Still have half of it in my fridge and I bought it like 4 days back..

Today I tried my luck again at another fruits seller and bought some apples.. It's cheap lah I would say.. RMB6.6 for 4 apples.. I didn't pick them cos my hands were occupied with my cleaned and freshly ironed laundry. So the seller just picked a few from the box of apples..

Went home, had dinner and took the apples out to eat. Sianz.. They are not fresh at all.. As in one feels abit soft and the others had dents and cuts here and there. It was wrapped nicely in those pink styrofoam webbing so can't see clearly.. Hai.. How disappointing it is to feel being cheated by those stupid fruits sellers.. Hai.. Where to find a decent place to buy cheap and good fruits.. Supermarkets are too far and over priced..

Anyway, today is a super slow day.. I mean SUUUUPER SLOOOOOOOOW... Did most of my stuffs which I should have done and now it's only left on the reading up on the project in Shanghai.. It's all in chinese loh... Read abit only then my mind wonder off le and I think I feel asleep a few times. Just hope that no one saw me.. Just couldn't wait to get off work. Hmm..

That's all for today.. Till next time.. Take care all...

Dreamer

8th May 2007, Tuesday, Cloudy and light rain will be expected

Couldn’t sleep last night and had to wake up to read a few pages of a “deep” novel to make myself feel sleepy. Guess I only feel asleep at about 330 as I was up reading at about 230 in the morning. Had a super hard time waking up this morning… Sucks…

It’s a slow day at work today... So slow and tiring that I needed 3 cups of coffee just to keep myself awake… The weather didn’t help either by staying really cool and nice… It’s a perfect day and weather to laze in bed and relax… Ah… *imagine, you lying on a beach chair at a quiet beach in Maldives, overseeing the clear blue and calm sea. Listening to chill out music and enjoying the cool sea breeze with a glass of sweet cocktail... Nice... It’s just a thought you know, maybe you can say that I was day dreaming at work (which obviously I was..) But I think my tired mind actually wondered to Maldives for a while leaving my physically body in the office but all is fine now, cos he is sadly back to where he should be…

After missing work for more then 10 days; 3 days of leave and 7 days of holiday, everyone seems to be back to their usual working mood except for me… I am still in the lazy long holiday mood but the others are already back on what they are doing… Wake up I soon must… Read previous Shanghai project I also must… Hur hur…

Work hard all…

Holidays Over

Ah... Well, 7 days of holiday is officially over as of today.. Tomorrow onwards I will have to work till 1st October, where there will be another 7 days holidays..

Well, it has been a long week for me i would say.. More then 50% of the time was spend just lazing around and the other 50% either watching Heroes, dee wee dee or out walking..

Actually I would say I didn't plan it properly so that I could do useful thingy.. Sigh.. I hope that from now on I will concentrate on my job and hopefully know more about my job and responsibilities soon. There is actually alot of things that I should have done but I haven't.. Hmm.. I really must start pulling up my socks and stop procrastinating. Something I must work hard on.. Holiday is over for me..

Ok, enough of the updates.. Take care all.

Have a wonderful week ahead. :)

Mini Mini

I am in love with Mini Cabrio... Hai.. But no money to buy...

My Heroes..

Been watching Heroes for the pass two days and I am totally in love with it.. Didn't step out of my house other then buying drinks and didn't wanted to sleep too.. I am now officially deprived of it.. Sigh.. The next episode will only be out on May 22nd, I hate waiting.. My Hiro san... Isaac.. Not forgeting Peter... Ahh...




Hope you all enjoyed watching it as much as I do..

Ah Long 旅游记

Yes, my ex-campmate Soon Leong was in Beijing for a short training recently and he managed to extend his stay in Beijing for 2 nights to company me. Very nice of him..

Well I would say it was an experience for him, a great one actually. It was his first time flying and it was a direct 6 hours flight from Singapore to Beijing on SQ.. I'm sure it would have been sucky if it was on another flight which I don't want to mention.. With no in-flight entertainment, 6 hours would be like forever.. One time is enough for me and all my flights back home will be on SQ..

It may be funny to some that there are actually people who haven't got a chance to travel far. At first I was quite surprised too when he told me that, but I've come to realised that not many people are fortunate enough to even have a chance to travel. And I am really greatful of what I have, I just have to work hard and prove myself.

Back to Ah Long, he was suppose to be heading to Shenzhen to "see" his company's factory but 2 weeks before he flies, he was informed that he will be attending a training in Beijing instead. Is this fate? Hmm.. If I were to be back in Singapore 1 week later, I would have missed him.

I met him at his hotel on friday afternoon and brought him to lunch at a nearby "狗不理包子" shop. Unfortunately the buns failed to impress us at all, just very normal buns I would say. Maybe it would be better if it was made in Tianjing.. Anyway, after that we headed to Hongqiao to shop for Jessica's LV.. Hee.. We didn't find the model which she was looking for but I hope she liked the one which Ah Long bought. *fingers crossed.. We went there first cos Hongqiao was near to his hotel, just a few kilometers South of where his hotel is.

Hmm.. I better not go into details of what we did.. If not this post will be farking long. I will jus talk about our trip to 圆明园.



This is Ah Long at the entrance of 圆明园 before we go in.



View from a stupid 亭 in the middle of a drying up pond.. There were 2 people sleeping behind me and they totally spoiled the image of the 亭. Crappy..



Ah Long..



This is a picture of a maze we walk through in the Yuanmingyuan Ruins Scene area. 15 yuan just to go in, and that's on top of the entrance tickets to Yuanmingyuan.



The center of the maze lies a stone 亭. Hur hur..



The inside of the stone 亭.

A quick intro, this ruins area is an area made up of stone buildings, or what's left of it that was made many years ago and design to look like the Western buildings. When the French and British invaded China, they destroyed most of the building and took all the valuable stuffs. Some of which is still with some collectors and some in museums around the world.






Part of a stone carving on the floor.






More Ah Long..



Ice Cream break on a warm and beautiful day..



Ah Long at a lake.. It's a huge lake in a huge "garden"..



These flowers can be seen almost everywhere of the garden. It would be alot nicer in june when all the flowers and lotus in the garden are fully grown. It is still growing when we were there. So you can imagine how nice it will be..



A close up of the flower.



This is a Panorama picture of the huge lake..



This was taken when I send Ah Long off to take cab. I jus woke up so i look sucky.

Anyway, didn't have much time to bring Ah Long around due to his limited time in Beijing. But we did go drinking at "后海" and "三里屯" area where all the pubs are. It has been a long time since I last drink with a friend. How I miss those days.. Can't wait for Jeremy to come in October..

Sorry if this update is brief but it will be super boring if I go in details.

Take care all..

Kudos..